The role of respect

When you start the process of going somewhere where you will live in a different culture they warn you about the cultural issues. Watch out for the wrong hand motions, always be aware of how you are presenting yourself, try to use their language, etc. However, what they don’t always succeed in explaining is that the differences extend beyond that, into the very core ideas of what is acceptable interaction between humans. I’m finding it hard to deal sometimes with the idea of respect as it is shown here in Tanzania. Some of the ways of showing respect in this country look to me a lot more like submission and servitude than respect.

I suppose first of all, I should apologize to my brothers, Erik and Samuel. Some of the things that drive me up the wall today are the very things I would do to them when we were younger. Not because I thought they needed to develop more respect for me as their big brother, or even that I wanted them to fear me, but rather I just exercised the power that being a larger human being gave me at the time. I remember both Mom and Hannah trying to explain the problem with what I was doing and really not processing that what I was doing was harmful both physically and psychologically. Now, I think at least, my mismanagement as a big brother has not permanently hurt our relationship as siblings but similar cycles I see developing here are causing this country issues.

For example, one big issue, that entirely stems from the culture, is this idea that with age you somehow earn respect from those younger than you, like somehow you have done more respect-worthy things by just having been breathing for longer. I’ve developed a rather rigid rubric for what earns respect in my eyes, but one of the most important characteristics of someone who deserves respect is that they respect others. I think if you look through human history, you find that those who fit this bill, are some of the most powerful people in their generation. Fear and brute strength will only keep things quiet for a time, as we are proving with current events in the Middle East. Look how quickly Gaddafi lost the support of other nations once he showed that he had no respect for his people. Not all people are good, and not all people should be given a pass or even forgiveness (although I would challenge the notion that we have the right to withhold that), but we compartmentalize too quickly. In our heads it flows “that person is a thief, therefore” when in reality we need to understand what lead to the person thieving. It may not change the fact that they need disciplined, but context matters. Respecting them as a fellow human being means offering them a chance to defend themselves. But, before I get lost on an ideological tangent, the relevance to this situation is that the interaction here between the young and old is not always one of earned respect but of expected respect.

A teacher will expect the students to bring them food during morning tea break by just pulling them away from their group of friends. The headmaster will call meetings and have no issues running into class time. I think I’ve complained here before that no one worries about anyone else’s time. But rather, it’s the totem pole. I’m higher than you. The teacher is higher than the student therefore; the student must do as the teacher asks. Never mind that the student may be a star performer and have listened intently during the class the teacher taught that day, fulfilling his or her side of the education agreement. No, that student should get the food, expending effort to make sure the food is of the highest quality available, not just what was on top, instead of using what may be an important break for their ability to perform at a high academic level. Or, for our other example, the headmaster is higher than the student, so he is more deserving of the teachers’ attention. That’s fine once in a while but weekly meetings about things that are not immediately important and take away from the students’ instruction time are a lack of respect for the students.

Another issue that I have come across is the actual physical badgering of those below them, at least in a school setting. The country still has corporal punishment as a discipline method and I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m ok with that as a concept. Discipline given with respect and a sincere concern for improving the person is a good and necessary thing. However, corporal punishment is almost never followed as it is legally allowed and it often quickly loses its use as anything more than an oppressive display of power. One day recently, one of the worst abusers of corporal punishment walked along in front of me and I watched as kids retreated, even if only slightly, and cowered as he made slightly threatening moves with his stick. It was exactly the same response I get from animals in Tanzania who view any movement from a human as preceding some sort of beating. There is no respect there, only pure power, and that really bothers me. But what’s even more concerning is that those students see that power as what awaits them if they should become a teacher professionally. They earned the right to intimidate and abuse because they passed a certain level of school.

Now, I do want to address the fact that I seem to be dictating good and bad from my high American horse. I’m hesitant to actually address these issues outright because, as some of the teachers will tell you, it’s the way Tanzanians are. Taking away the system wouldn’t process as a shift in disciplinary methods but rather as a loss of enforcement. I recognize that I didn’t come to this country on some proselytizing mission devoted to instilling a system of best practices as compiled by Andrew Shook. I’m not here to fix everything, just to offer a little help, then leave. Additionally, I think the make love not war camp is just as far off base as the other end of the spectrum. Power that is fairly earned and exercised is something that should be preserved and fought for.

There is any number of reasons that humans do bad things to each other. We’re inherently sinful, we evolved under the context of survival of the fittest, or some people are just bad people. But being cognizant of when something is bad, and when it’s just out of cultural context can be a challenge. I do think there is an understanding between them that it is a discipline and respect issue, but it worries me that it clearly goes beyond that, and frequently. What to do about it is a never ending challenge for the Peace Corps volunteer, and an issue I hope to address soon.